Understanding the ‘helper syndrome’

Southern Spain is the land of many opportunities, but even more lost people, writes columnist Martina Willis

LAST UPDATED: 11 Sep, 2015 @ 17:32

source of wellbeingSINCE I started to appear in the Olive Press a few months ago I have had an incredible amount of people randomly bowling up at my front gates.

Mostly wanting to work with me in one form or another, they promise this and that and, it is fair to say, a lot of them are rather odd.

What I have noticed with this bizarre form of ‘jobseeker’ is that, generally, they do not take care of themselves. I know you should never judge people by appearances, but it tells me immediately that they suffer a form of the ‘helper syndrome’.

This is when somebody elects a ‘helper’ occupation, such as a therapist, counsellor or healer in order to fill in a gap in their lives.

This could be from the classic empty-nest syndrome when a child leaves home or from a complicated work-life situation they left behind in their home country, thinking a life in Spain would be so much easier.

However, what they have not understood is that happiness is a state of being and NOT doing. And as long as they adopt a ‘helper’ occupation in order to fill this gap in their lives, they will never succeed in their occupation.

At The Source Of Wellbeing I am looking for therapists who have found their inner source of wellbeing, exactly that, and radiate this state of being to our clients.

They need to act as role models when guiding our clients to achieve a balanced body, soul and spirit.

Our beauty therapist Jade is one such example and loves and breathes this state of being from the inside out.

When you are in her presence you feel immediately lifted and her heart is reaching out for you.

Tina, our yoga instructor is the same, making you feel at ease and content the second you step into her presence.

However, these types of professionals are sadly few and far between in southern Spain.

And I’ve stopped counting how many times I have felt sheer exasperation after interviews.

But it would not be me if I could not see an opportunity in seemingly negative experiences.

To this end, I’m starting a weekly meeting for local women called ‘We First’ next month.

In these sessions, we will share stories of how we learned and found the courage to put ourselves first and how we found our own inner source of wellbeing.

Ultimately it means we can share this experience with our family and friends and, of course, give hope to other women who want to find more fulfilled lives.

For more information, contact [email protected]

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