DO you want to know where I sleep?  My basket is moved each night into the marital bedroom and I pretend to be in a deep sleep there.

My gentle snoring should not be mistaken for laziness – I am of course on standby guard duty.

Most nights I manage a few Zs – I won’t go into more detail as to why I get disturbed but let’s just say he’s not as young as he used to be and ….. well, you can imagine.

Now alongside he-who-must-be-obeyed’s pillow is the emergency phone for overnight calamities at the hotel.

It is connected to the hotel rooms and to the outside lines.  
Last week unusually, the phone rang at 03.15 am.  I heard a voice telling him that there was a bat in his bathroom and he would like assistance to remove it.  He said he was in room number six.

I didn’t laugh – it’s not advisable  – as he staggered out of bed to go to be of help, torch in hand.  I would have gone with him but I was rather cosy by this stage.

Twenty minutes later he returned and said to she-w-m-b-o , that there was no sign of life in room six and he had remembered that it was English speakers in that room and that the caller had definitely been Spanish. They exchanged puzzled looks.

A minute later the phone rang again and I heard an angry voice saying that he was very disappointed that no-one had been to help. He-w-m-b-o said that he had been to the room to check and seen no lights.  The angry one was asked to re-confirm his room number and then said, ‘Es una broma.’

Being bilingual I understood this to mean it had been a joke.  
I didn’t think it was very funny and the great one didn’t either. He didn’t find it any more amusing when the same person called back at 04:25 am singing the Batman theme song.
And you thought hotel dogs had an easy life…..