Sunday, September 23, 2018

The Amputee – Issue 23

I drink, therefore I am I PHONED a friend after lunch he other day to thank him for the very entertaining dinner party he and...

The Amputee – Issue 21

Raising the steaks A FRIEND of mine was found positive for the performance-inhibiting drug butane. “A load of anabolics,” he claimed in our local bar,...

The Amputee – Issue 19

Year of the golden porker LET a hundred flowers bloom. The Chinese have said goodbye to the Year of the Dog and welcomed in the...

The Amputee – Issue 18

Profligate scandal I HAVE just read average debt levels in Britain have risen to an all-time high of nearly 140 per cent of income, twice...

The Amputee – Issue 17

Reading between the lies “I may not agree with what they did but I will defend to the death their right to deny it.” It was...

The Amputee – Issue 15

HAPPY NEWS YEAR Two thousand and six has quietly slipped behind the curtain of time and we will now refer to it as Last Year....

The Amputee – Issue 14

In true festive spirit, The Olive Press has decided to give The Amputee a week off. Here, his companion The Gobbler muses on what Christmas means to him

The Amputee – Issue 13

SHEP THE FISH I JUST read that by the middle of next year more British families will own a fish than will own a dog....

The Amputee – Issue 12

BACKING GROUP ONE of the great mysteries of the Universe is why women cannot back a car into a parking spot. My mother was a...

The Amputee – Issue 10

Journeyman tailor MY grandfather, Charlie McCarthy, described himself as a "Journeyman Tailor." I learnt this a few years ago when I applied for a copy of...

The Amputee – Issue 9

WHEN God finally gets back to earth the first thing he is going to ask is what we have done with his dinosaurs. At...
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