The Amputee – Issue 19

Year of the golden porker LET a hundred flowers bloom. The Chinese have said goodbye to the Year of the Dog and welcomed in the...

The Amputee – Issue 18

Profligate scandal I HAVE just read average debt levels in Britain have risen to an all-time high of nearly 140 per cent of income, twice...

The Amputee – Issue 17

Reading between the lies “I may not agree with what they did but I will defend to the death their right to deny it.” It was...

Dispatches of a Cave Dweller

Modern day cave living should become more popular as it is a fantastic way of life, a good investment or retirement package to the quiet Andalucían life in the mountains

The Amputee – Issue 15

HAPPY NEWS YEAR Two thousand and six has quietly slipped behind the curtain of time and we will now refer to it as Last Year....

The Amputee – Issue 14

In true festive spirit, The Olive Press has decided to give The Amputee a week off. Here, his companion The Gobbler muses on what Christmas means to him

The Amputee – Issue 13

SHEP THE FISH I JUST read that by the middle of next year more British families will own a fish than will own a dog....

The Amputee – Issue 12

BACKING GROUP ONE of the great mysteries of the Universe is why women cannot back a car into a parking spot. My mother was a...

The Amputee – Issue 10

Journeyman tailor MY grandfather, Charlie McCarthy, described himself as a "Journeyman Tailor." I learnt this a few years ago when I applied for a copy of...

The Amputee – Issue 9

WHEN God finally gets back to earth the first thing he is going to ask is what we have done with his dinosaurs. At...




Brit DJ accused of raping holidaymaker in Ibiza has Spanish trial halted after 30 minutes due to ‘translation problems’

A Scots DJ accused of raping a British holidaymaker in Ibiza had his trial temporarily scraped just 30 minutes after landing in the dock...