AS if often the way in the land of celebrity, it’s hard to distinguish satire from reality.
But nightclub owner Wayne Lineker seemed to have spiralled into a caricature of himself when he took to Instagram in pursuit of love.
“So, my family have decided I need a girlfriend for my own sanity and health…so here’s my criteria,” he wrote from O Beach Ibiza.
Interested? The wish list is as follows:
- Strong nice loving personality.
- You must like older men but only me…You have to be a worldie and above 30 (ok 28 29 could work) but not my age as that would just look weird.
- You must like to travel and to fly business class and stay in incredible hotels. Be prepared to give up your career or job or at least be able to work from a laptop on a tropical beach somewhere.
- You will need to spend the summer in ibiza and the winter in Dubai with 2 weeks in Uk for Christmas and new year with the families and holidays to the Maldives.
- No baggage as mine are all grown up. A dog is acceptable but will need a passport.
- You must be able to cook as I love cooking, especially Waitrose ready made meals.
- House music and R&B lovers only. No heavy rock or pop music.
- You must like Netflix especially money heist and also real crime. No chick flicks watch them with your mates.
- You need to be confident enough to be able to go to the front of the queue in nightclubs and accept a table and free drinks from the owners.
- You will need a driving license to share a Bentley and a Lamborghini Jeep (pending)
- You must never have shared a teeth whitening post!!
- I’m not on any dating sites you shouldn’t be too. I’m Not on only fans so you shouldn’t be too .
- You must love the gym, health food and have body definition as I will have soon.
- Accept and love my children and grandchildren and realise no more kids for me.. (never say never though).
- You must be able to let my PA book all yours and our flights and purchase items online for you.
- You must be able to accept my friends even Tony Truman as I will accept yours … accept I have to reply to girls DMs not just guys…
- One last thing. Your geography needs to be on point as girls that think Lincoln is in Wales is not good. Be intelligent but not boring.
At this point it’s unclear if Wayne’s demands are #banter or #real but a flurry of women have already volunteered as tribute.
Sound like a bit of you? Act fast. Unless you’re his age (58) as, obviously, ‘that would just look weird’.