MENTAL health is often neglected in these dire times so to keep the brain firing on all cylinders I do frequent Zoom quizzes in Dulwich with my British, Irish & French friends. 

Friday night was girls versus boys and the subject was history. When asked what battle English Henry V won against the French, I was at the ready with the Battle of Agincourt but got stuck on what film was written and directed by Luc Besson in 1994? I knew it, it was on the tip of my tongue but my opponents got it: Leon (Lion). 

Talking about ferocious beasts, my Facebook Memories threw up a picture of me with a large snake and 3 Irish models from 5 years ago, when I worked on Ireland AM’s morning show. It was a moment in time where I had to face my ‘ophidiophobia’ and get on with it, much like my carcinophobia (fear of cancer). Actually, the snake was charming! 

Lisa Snake Pic 1
SNAKE CHARMER: Lisa Burgess with a huge serpent

As I was browsing my happy memories there was a sudden thud from my washing machine. Let’s put this in context: the fridge, cooker and washing machine have all had to be replaced recently due to their antiquity, much like myself and The Hundred Years War ensued when Joffrey did not appreciate that my TWO dressing gowns were being held captive in the load, hiss spit. 

I commenced immediate social distancing from the kitchen and to say we were in a spin is an understatement but it was eventually resolved by Chef with a little help from Alexa. 

Prior to the laundry skirmish, we agreed Joff would trim my hair but I cast a beady eye on him hacking vigorously away at the onions and decided Mona Lisa should remain Corona Lisa.

We are looking forward to our first night out in Phase 1, courtesy of friends at a luxury villa in La Cala, for another fierce quiz clash themed on the animal kingdom. 

During my research, I found that spitting cobras can blind an adult male lion in seconds. I pondered on the subject of toxicity and emotional well-being, especially the tumultuous internal mind battle one faces under lockdown.

The words of William Shakespeare’s Henry V gave me some much-needed counsel: ‘men of few words are the best men’. It made me realise that my own human behaviour needs adapting so I intend to hold my asp tongue and be more subdued lioness at the quiz, the better to direct my focus on winning the lion’s share of the points!

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