MULLINS IT OVER: Everyone loses over Gibraltar - but the monkeys couldn’t care less

By Charlie Mullins

READING the headline in the Olive Press – Surrender or Triumph I can’t help but come to the conclusion that like all the rest of Brexit the Gibraltar settlement is a calamitous deal that makes everyone a loser.

But also like Brexit there is a big loser, that would be the UK with a bronze medal, and Spain winning silver, which was more than had been hoped for, especially considering the true inhabitants of ‘Gib’ who in the 2016 EU referendum voted 94.9% in favour of Remaining part of the UK.

Everyone with skin in the game here has come up short. Spain wanted the rock back but has had to settle for being allowed to put a customs shack on the border to stamp British passports in and out of the territory. A sort of face-saving deal that means Gibraltar stays British, but at a cost to the Spanish taxpayer.

On the other side of the fence is the UK and the 35,000 Gibraltar natives – out of a total of 38,000 – who voted to stay part of the UK. No longer can Brits who are resident in the UK drop into the rock nation for a steep climb and an encounter with some resident apes (actually Barbary macaques) that have been citizens for longer than anyone, after being introduced by the Moors as long ago as the 8th century.

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Did I say everyone’s a loser? I guess that’s not 100% correct; the 300 monkeys probably don’t give a ‘flying macaques pooh’ who’s in charge of policing the border, and Gibraltar’s Business minister, Nigel Feetham is probably a winner too.

And why is young Nigel so keen on the deal? I reckon that might be something about the devil being in the detail. All card-carrying residents of Gibraltar will not only be able to travel passport check free between their homes and the UK, but they also get a free pass into the Schengen zone (most of the rest of Europe). You have to wonder what price Nigel will soon be putting on a Gibraltar ID card?

I think the Maltese might be getting a bit worried about their lucrative passport side-hustle, which means the island nation’s passports currently go for €690k for one, or €840k for an entire family!

More generally this outcome is completely bonkers. The UK has held sovereignty over the rock since the Treaty of Utrecht 1713 and its people want it to stay that way.

I get that Spain feels the rock should be Spanish, but now all it has is the cost of looking after the border, but they still can’t fly the Rojigualda flag over the rock’s 38,000 souls and 300 ape immigrants.

Just another example of why Brexit is a complete basket case of an idea!

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