MULLINS IT OVER: Welcome to the Costa del Crime; sun, scams and a shooting near my front gate – but leave my name out of it, insists Charlie Mullins

I MIGHT have only just unpacked the boxes and put the kettle on in my new life as a full-timer on the Costa del Sol, but make no mistake – I’ve had a second home out here for the better part of two decades.

Long enough to notice that the sunshine dream is being slowly soured by a rising tide of crime. 

Think less ‘mañana vibes’ and more raw sewage bubbling into the Thames – only with palm trees.

Like many other weary Brits, I came to Spain chasing cleaner air, fewer muggers, and politics that didn’t feel like an episode of Black Mirror. But lately? The Costa’s gone a bit Costa Nostra. 

Don’t believe me? Take a stroll through the crime pages of the Daily Mail – assuming you can still stomach the whiny UK rag.

READ MORE: MULLINS IT OVER: Rather than complaining about tourists, locals in Spain should complain about building standards, writes Charlie Mullins

Imagine my delight when my lovely Spanish villa – my little patch of escape – was name-checked in the Mail, no less… as a location marker for a gangland execution! 

Yes, a poor bloke was gunned down in Mijas – and the journalist helpfully let readers know it happened ‘just 20 minutes from the villa of Charlie Mullins, Britain’s richest plumber’. How thoughtful!

Honestly, it sounded like they were about to chalk a crime scene outline outside my front gate. 

Next time something kicks off, maybe give Lord Sugar or Simon Cowell’s gaff a mention instead, eh lads? 

Only kidding. Love the coverage. Sort of.

All that said, I’m not hanging up the ‘For Sale’ sign just yet. Spain’s still a step up from the dystopian mess the UK has become in 2025 – where being mugged is practically a commuter sport.

But here’s the bit that really baffles me: Brits scamming other Brits. It’s like we bring our own villains with us. 

Maybe it’s the warm weather, or the sangria-induced sense of security – but too many expats leave their street smarts at Malaga Airport and fall straight into the hands of a coach-load of charming con artists with British accents.

We’ve seen it before. John Palmer’s dodgy timeshare empire in the ’90s, and now the disgraceful Continental Wealth Management (CWM) scam – €35 million swindled from mostly retired Brits who thought their money was safe in sunny Spain.

Is the Iberian Funeral Plan case another one about to shock us?

The Olive Press, I should add, has been all over these scams from day one – hats off to them. 

And just last month, one of the main players in CWM, Jody Smart (aka Jody Pearson), got banged up for three-and-a-half years. 

Justice, of sorts.

What’s my point in all this? Honestly, I’m not entirely sure – except to say: there are bad apples everywhere, even in paradise. So keep your wits about you. 

And if a deal sounds too good in sterling or euros… it probably is.