WHAT have rapper P Diddy and Italian snapper – Raphael Muzzocco got in common? No? Well I’ll tell you. They both worship womens’ bums like fat kids crave cake.
The unlikely duo have teamed up to launch ‘Culo’ (the Spanish word for buttocks), a new book showcasing famous female booties.
Naturally, you don’t need to be Nostradamus to predict a feminist storm brewing over this. Indeed, I reckon Germaine Greer would rather lapdance for Jim Davidson than buy a copy of this ‘bum bible.’
Cunningly, however, P Diddy’s marketing team have tried to pass ‘Culo’ off as an “empowering” celebration of all things curvy. A statement on the website reads: ‘Fashion needs fewer girls who look like boys and more women with some Boom Boom Pow’ (which presumably means ‘Plus-Size’ models who can fight like Batman!)
But ignore these devious spin doctors, ‘Culo’ will not cure anorexia, nor will it discourage Italian men from pinching your tush on the Naples night train. And whilst it won’t dazzle those clever-clogs on the Culture Show, it will add some fun and frivolity to your festive coffee table.
On a recent Gibraltar trip, I waltzed into WH Smiths for a free, flick through the books and magazines (let’s face it – we all do it!!!) However, after 15 minutes of idle, thumbing – it suddenly dawned on me that this year’s “Must Reads” – are utter dross. From Delicious Dishes for Diabetics, to Gary Neville’s ‘Red’ autobiography – it was coma-inducing stuff.
Okay, granted – a hardback about girl’s backsides sounds tackier than those garish, flamenco dolls your dotty Aunt used to bring back from Benalmadena. But, ask yourselves this, what’s more appealing – a ratty, Manchester United full-back, droning on about gambling and Glenn Hoddle’s warped views on the handicapped – or, a buck-naked Fergie (the singer out of the Black Eyed Peas, not to toe-sucking ex-Royal), flashing her rump on a vintage chaise-longue?
Although I’ve always consider Neville ‘a bit of an arse’, there’s simply no comparison ;)