Something for the ‘bottom’ of your tree

LAST UPDATED: 16 Dec, 2011 @ 22:00
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Something for the ‘bottom’ of your tree

WHAT have rapper P Diddy and Italian snapper – Raphael Muzzocco got in common? No? Well I’ll tell you. They both worship womens’ bums like fat kids crave cake.

The unlikely duo have teamed up to launch ‘Culo’ (the Spanish word for buttocks), a new book showcasing famous female booties.

Naturally, you don’t need to be Nostradamus to predict a feminist storm brewing over this. Indeed, I reckon Germaine Greer would rather lapdance for Jim Davidson than buy a copy of this ‘bum bible.’

Cunningly, however, P Diddy’s marketing team have tried to pass ‘Culo’ off as an “empowering” celebration of all things curvy. A statement on the website reads: ‘Fashion needs fewer girls who look like boys and more women with some Boom Boom Pow’ (which presumably means ‘Plus-Size’ models who can fight like Batman!)

But ignore these devious spin doctors, ‘Culo’ will not cure anorexia, nor will it discourage Italian men from pinching your tush on the Naples night train. And whilst it won’t dazzle those clever-clogs on the Culture Show, it will add some fun and frivolity to your festive coffee table.

On a recent Gibraltar trip, I waltzed into WH Smiths for a free, flick through the books and magazines (let’s face it – we all do it!!!) However, after 15 minutes of idle, thumbing – it suddenly dawned on me that this year’s “Must Reads” – are utter dross. From Delicious Dishes for Diabetics, to Gary Neville’s ‘Red’ autobiography – it was coma-inducing stuff.

Okay, granted – a hardback about girl’s backsides sounds tackier than those garish, flamenco dolls your dotty Aunt used to bring back from Benalmadena. But, ask yourselves this, what’s more appealing – a ratty, Manchester United full-back, droning on about gambling and Glenn Hoddle’s warped views on the handicapped – or,  a buck-naked Fergie (the singer out of the Black Eyed Peas, not to toe-sucking ex-Royal), flashing her rump on a vintage chaise-longue?

Although I’ve always consider Neville ‘a bit of an arse’, there’s simply no comparison ;)

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  1. I’m all for praise of curves and curvy women in particular (being one!).

    However I must speak up for my husband’s cookbook–Delicious Dishes for Diabetics–a Mediterranean Way of Eating by Robin Ellis (an actor best known for Poldark).

    This is a cookbook for foodies who discover they have Type 2 diabetes–which is becoming epidemic. An estimated 800,000 Brits have diabetes but don’t know it! A simple blood test diagnoses the illness–which often has no symptoms in its early phase. Ask your doctor for the blood test!

    It’s NOT the end of good eating, as Robin’s cookbook shows. Indeed the cookbook is suitable for anyone trying to eat a healthy, low-carb diet.

    Robin managed to bring his blood sugar levels back to normal for 6 years after his diagnosis, simply by altering slightly the way he cooks and what he eats–plus exercising a bit more. That is 6 years without medication! It’s worth doing, folks! Now he does take a pill.

    Your health is your most precious gift! Protect it–and help others who have diabetes (and other illnesses) eat in the way that best suits their situation.

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