3 Apr, 2021 @ 12:45
1 min read

OLD HACK IN THE SUN: Benny Davis with the 80-something ramblings of an expat in Spain

The Shining, Jack Nicholson, 1980. ©warner Brothers
THE SHINING, Jack Nicholson, 1980. ©Warner Brothers

When I was young, ‘online’ meant pegging your washing out to dry.

Never thought that one day this innocent household word would signify the demise of high street shopping.

Today, with the aid of an iPhone or laptop the world is yours without even leaving your living room.

Users have access to every product, or service under the sun, ranging from Bovril to Bolivian holidays, wills to winter woollies, or even pop-up Karma Sutra books.

Nothing is out of their reach and that of course includes the latest surge in popularity, home food deliveries.

Link all these trends to the latest government survey that shows over 80% of office workers on COVID leave who say they prefer working at home.

So, the big question must be, are we in danger of becoming a nation of couch potato home-bound hermits, or in my language, Sofa Spuds?

Will online technology eventually incorporate a three-dimensional virtual reality video with online sales to enable would-be purchasers to get a closer tactile examination of goods prior to credit card commitment?

Just imagine the sales pitch: Through the magic of VR, be transported to a restaurant environment that suits your food mood.

Or how about: Holidays around the globe from the comfort of your couch?

Avoid the hassle of airport security checks, cancelled flights, lost luggage, and walking miles to find a loo.

Go-direct with ‘Amazon Travel’ without even stepping outside your front door.

Take a virtual reality trip to Australia, land of swinging corks, Roo-burgers, and picturesque upside-down landscapes, or maybe delve into the depths of the Borneo jungle?

Sample genuine cannibal soup or collect a souvenir shrunken head(Note:- SOLD OUT: Emmanuel Macron and Ursula von der Leyen; only two Angela Merkels left, but Boris back in stock).

If you want that touch of sheer luxury and indulgence, take a virtual sea cruise to the magic destination of your choice, including realistic rough seas, and 16 meals a day (per person) delivered to your door complete with a midnight buffet and sick bags.

Suffering from a bit of fecal impaction at the moment, the posh name for constipation, so off to the loo with a 3D virtual reality video of ‘The Shining’. That should do the trick!

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