21 Nov, 2014 @ 09:00
1 min read

Halloween horrors and agave agro

YOU may have noticed from the marauding gangs of hyperactive children dressed as vampires, mummies and various other members of the Undead that it was Halloween a couple of weeks ago.

I don’t usually get much trouble from ‘Trick or Treaters’.

A quick description of my lifestyle reads like something out of a horror movie, anyway: ‘A bearded loner living in a ruin in the woods on the edge of a lake, where the only access is via a two-kilometre track down the side of a mountain’ would tend to put the little buggers off.

Then there was the infamous time in London when my flatmates (who were professional chefs) decided to chocolate-coat laxatives to give out to the children. We moved flat soon afterwards…

But I ventured out on Halloween anyway, and was once again congratulated on my Uncle Fester costume. And once again had to explain that I wasn’t wearing one…

Next day, life having returned to what passes for normality and with most of the population of the village getting toasted at the local ‘Toston’, I sauntered down to the coast.

I wasn’t prepared for the fact that Christmas starts the day after Halloween. There were festive decorations everywhere. It made me wonder if they do this in the States, which could lead to an interesting Thanksgiving/Christmas crossover, where Santa delivers presents to the Pilgrim Fathers on a sled pulled by turkeys.

I decided to take a quick look around the shops for pressies for the various godchildren when I stumbled across a bullfighting board game, ‘suitable for ages 8+’… My evil twin at once imagined the reaction if you tried selling this in Islington!

It got me thinking of other unsuitable Spanish board games I could invent, such as ‘Inquisition – the game the whole family can play. Comes with thumbscrews (batteries not included)’; ‘Spanish Monopoly – Become a mayor and amass the biggest fortune through illegal building permits’; and ‘Ebola Time Crisis – Find the the cure before Fido gets it!’.

No more Agave agro

THE big plant bit the dust last week. Thanks to Florin, the Romanian superhero who maintains the upkeep of the Casita – I’m useless at gardening, DIY and anything more challenging than changing a fuse. Florin decided the agave plant that suddenly sprang up outside the garden this summer was in danger of crashing back over the wooden fence, and had to go.

After a fair bit of pulling and pushing, the agave finally crashed to the ground, as the picture shows. Maybe it was me, but I had the sudden urge to grab one of those giant paella pans, a dozen eggs and a pack of butter and make the largest asparagus tortilla Istan has ever seen!

Giles Brown

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  1. No kb, you don’t. You laugh at people who had rocks thrown at their pets and who threatened a family walking on a public camino (not a farm). You don’t need an education, you need a course in being a human being first.

  2. I can’t help that you are naïve and belive anything you read as long as it is against Spain or Spannish people.
    I have no reason to to belive the story but I am tired of the subject and find it difficult and boring to go over again.

  3. If the person who threw a rock was English, I would have said the same thing. Therein is your case destroyed. It is not a “Spanish” thing to throw a rock at a creature. You are confused and need to thoroughly re-educate yourself about such matters.

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