FOLKS, there will be no bets taken on what I am pondering on this week.  

Life is surreal. I feel I have been thrown into a 1950s fictional movie and – whilst I am used to sitting at a laptop for most of my life – this is a whole different roll of loo paper!

Actually, having looked at a squillion posts by Javea Connect members over the last week, I am totally Andrexed out.

When this lockdown is over, the first thing I will do is to call a plumber and get him to fix the bidet, which has never actually worked since I moved in 3 years ago.

Anyway! I have no intention of writing any doomy-gloomy stuff as I am sure people have read enough of that, so I am going to focus on the amusing – such as the guy who dressed up as batman and paraded through his deserted (but balcony filled) community, showing… as if it were the World Cup… a six-pack of Mercadona’s finest 4 ply tissue! 

Getting Connected Batman

Then there was a guy dressed as a T-Rex going off to chuck his garbage in the bin, who got well busted meandering about the town next day by the chief of the Jurassic Park police squad! 

But I just love that people keep their spirits up through this. 

We have had the 8pm Balconiestas too, where the locals congregate on their balconies and gardens and bang drums, sing Viva España, and other cheesy-but-moody-stirring songs, all giving thanks to those who are out working for the community in these unknown times.  

In my hometown, the Spanish have even arranging Bingo games. 

So now, we often hear, at 8.30 pm, someone shouting” “Ojo de Kelly, numero uno” or “dos señoras gordas, ochenta y ocho.” (Ok ok… I taught that to them!)

But it is people like this who will get us all through what we hope will be just a few weeks. and this is the medicine we need. 

In my opinion, a good chuckle will help boost our immunity far more than all the vitamin injections, pills and whatever the hell chemicals people are given to get them through a stressful time.

But now, my friends, I must return to my fold and try to keep them focused on what is and what isn’t true. 

I, like many others I expect, have never read so many articles in my life in five days, but it is important to know the difference between fact and what the bloke in the pub had told them.   

No more lectures from me this week, I just want to end by saying I am glad there is no shortage of kitchen roll… that would really piss me off.

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