AGEING is simply an attitude of mind.

Think young and you will inherit the flame of eternal youth.

Whoever said that, was as bonkers as Boris.

As far as I am concerned, if you’re not getting older, you’re dead. Simple as that!

OK, maybe you can just keep ahead of the Grim Reaper by retaining a sense of humour and keep taking the tablets, but when you are stooping in an attempt to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there, the signs are on the wall.

As Bernard Shaw once said: ¨If I had known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.¨

But being old also has its advantages. You’ve done it all, good or bad.

No more having to try harder, no more keeping up with the Jones’, and above all, it’s the kids turn to look after you for a change.

Got the T-shirt, wear it with pride.

Also, retired wrinkly expats in Spain can have fun with their younger neighbours by reinventing their past careers.

Wrinklies I met at past social events were never ordinary workers.

All managed to self-elevate their historical CV´s to positions of grandeur including former managing directors, military officers, bank managers, top consultant engineers, high ranking police officials, and even MI5 ‘Bond’-type operatives, ¨Sorry, still cannot talk about my past, Official Secrets Act, old chap.¨

Today, life in Spain is simply a relaxing piece of cake.

The only lay-by stops on the motorway to the eventual ‘afterlife’ are ensuring you take your pills on time, medical help is only a push button away, assistance with opening ‘secure top’ bottles, tins, wine corks, climbing steps, and in many cases, actually standing up and ensuring you don’t wander too far from a loo.

Which reminds me, don’t forget that unmentionable essential, maintaining a good stock of incontinence pants.

On reflection, maybe not so much a ‘piece of cake’, after all.

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